Why My Spouse is My BEST FRIEND

00:00:00
Speaker 1: First of all, guys, we want to thank you guys for coming out.

00:00:05
Speaker 2: You know, we are the Perfect Pair Podcast.

00:00:08
Speaker 1: My name is Rocky Turner. Most know me as Rock T, the Ricky Smiley Morning Show.

00:00:11
Speaker 3: And I'm Crystal, Rock.

00:00:16
Speaker 4: T's little hat.

00:00:19
Speaker 5: You saw it.

00:00:20
Speaker 2: Tell us. Hey, when your wife or your better.

00:00:23
Speaker 1: Half claims that, embrace it. Embrace it. So, We're going to tell you how we decided to do the Perfect Pair podcast because we really didn't want to do it.

00:00:36
Speaker 5: We weren't thinking about doing a podcast.

00:00:38
Speaker 1: But if you listen to the Ricky Smiley Morning Show, Ricky and I, they always tease.

00:00:42
Speaker 5: Us because they think we're just the perfect couple. You guys are always laughing.

00:00:46
Speaker 1: You guys are always smiling. You're always happy together. We never see you guys angry or frustrated.

00:00:52
Speaker 4: And I'd be like, uh, we argue, yes. He get on my nerves. Yes. I get on his nerves.

00:00:59
Speaker 1: Yes.

00:01:02
Speaker 4: We are all of those things. And some.

00:01:05
Speaker 1: So a lot of the listeners was like, man, you guys should have your own podcast. You guys should start your own YouTube channel. Because we want to learn how you guys do it. How do you guys stay so happy? And we're at At home, like, man, they just don't know. Right.

00:01:22
Speaker 6: Y'all know how we do. Y'all know y'all may argue.

00:01:25
Speaker 4: Tell the truth. Y'all know y'all have argued at one point in time, and then y'all had to come out here and be like... How y'all doing? Because it happened to us earlier today. We'll talk about that later. I'm going to talk about it. I cannot wait. Because he was like, babe, we need to come up with three topics. I said, uh-uh, I'm ready.

00:01:42
Speaker 6: I don't even want to bring it. I said, I'm not telling you until we get here. Because I want y'all to know how he got on my nerves earlier.

00:01:49
Speaker 5: But we'll talk about it.

00:01:50
Speaker 1: Today.

00:01:51
Speaker 5: For real now.

00:01:52
Speaker 1: Today. So basically, we say, you know what? What motivated us to go ahead and do it is because we want to let people know that you don't have to be perfect to be happy. And we learned how to have a perfect, non-perfect marriage. Hence the name Perfect Pair Podcast. So we just got on and we just started telling our stories. And we were literally just telling our stories. Like what she's about to do tonight, I have no idea how I got on her nerves earlier. And we just started recording. And what we learned is that, man, when we just sit back and listen to each other, without any kind of negative energy. Like if she's telling me something that I bothered her about, and if I just can't wait to get back to her, then it's going to be some problems. It's going to be a bunch of problems and vice versa. So that's kind of the history. So tell us, tell them a little bit how we, how we met. Cause I know you, you antsy right now.

00:02:44
Speaker 5: You ready?

00:02:44
Speaker 1: You ready to get going.

00:02:46
Speaker 4: Okay. Let me tell the happy part of our marriage. Okay.

00:02:49
Speaker 6: So how we met.

00:02:53
Speaker 4: Oh, he asked me out three times and I told him no.

00:02:55
Speaker 5: Show did.

00:02:56
Speaker 6: I did not want to be with nobody in no entertainment business. I was just getting out of a relationship. It was horrible. I just didn't want to be with him. And then I knew right then and there I didn't want no person that played professional sports. I didn't want somebody that was in the entertainment business.

00:03:12
Speaker 4: And no man that had kids already. He had all three just gone.

00:03:17
Speaker 1: Checked all the boxes, y'all.

00:03:18
Speaker 4: All three boxes.

00:03:19
Speaker 6: But I was such in a hard place at that time. And I got to a point where it was so low that I was like, I asked God.

00:03:28
Speaker 4: Like, can you tell me where I should go? What should I do? I don't want to be here anymore. I don't want to feel like this anymore.

00:03:36
Speaker 6: But every time I would pray, I kept seeing him, like, the next day or two days later.

00:03:41
Speaker 4: It was weird.

00:03:43
Speaker 6: And the reason why I'm saying this, y'all don't understand why I said this when he tell his side. But I was like, man, I don't know why I keep seeing him. And the third time he saw me, he grabbed my hand. He was like, you're not married.

00:03:51
Speaker 1: I was like, nope.

00:03:53
Speaker 4: Like, why are you asking it? Because you're a DJ. You're in the entertainment. And I didn't even know he played professional baseball at the time. Because, again, I don't care. Once I see that you're in the entertainment business.

00:04:02
Speaker 6: I don't want no parts. Because I ain't trying to fight all these girls. Because y'all know how we was back there.

00:04:06
Speaker 4: Trying to have our man. We ready to fight. And I ain't want to do all that. So I was like, no, I don't want no parts.

00:04:12
Speaker 6: And then one day I was listening to the Ricky Smiley Morning Show.

00:04:17
Speaker 4: And I do. I love the joke of the day. And that was him.

00:04:20
Speaker 6: And he made me laugh so hard that morning before work.

00:04:25
Speaker 4: I went ahead and messaged him on MySpace.

00:04:27
Speaker 1: Y'all remember MySpace? I put it in my top eight, y'all. I put it in.

00:04:33
Speaker 4: My top eight.

00:04:35
Speaker 6: I messaged him on MySpace and said, hey, would you like to go to lunch with me?

00:04:40
Speaker 4: And before I said lies, don't tell the truth. You know, you didn't say that.

00:04:45
Speaker 6: And so before I had said he was like, yes, when you want to go, let's go.

00:04:48
Speaker 4: As soon as possible.

00:04:50
Speaker 6: So that's how we started to start talking. But this before our first date, I got real sick. I had like 103 fever and.

00:04:59
Speaker 4: My job told me to go home. So I told him, I was like, hey, I can't meet you because I'm sick.

00:05:04
Speaker 5: I have the flu.

00:05:05
Speaker 4: I'm going to go home. He was like, no, no, no.

00:05:08
Speaker 1: You have to.

00:05:08
Speaker 4: Let's just keep this date. Let's just keep this date. I was like, are you serious? He was like, yeah. I'm like, man. At this point, I'm like, he going to see me. I look a mess.

00:05:18
Speaker 6: I don't have no color in my face, no makeup, nothing. So I was like, well, this is going to be the last time I see him. He was okay with it because I was like, it's his fault.

00:05:26
Speaker 4: I told him I couldn't go. But I get there. He's real sweet. I'm talking to him.

00:05:33
Speaker 6: And I know he wants to take over on this spot because he cannot wait to tell people what I was looking like across that table. And he didn't tell me, so I still got a little problem about it.

00:05:41
Speaker 4: But I'm working through it.

00:05:43
Speaker 5: Yeah, let me take over this part right here.

00:05:44
Speaker 7: Yeah, I know.

00:05:45
Speaker 1: So I wasn't about to let her cancel that date because I worked hard to get it in the first place. So I didn't care if you was sick. I didn't care if you was pale. She was pale. I ain't going to lie.

00:05:56
Speaker 5: She was still beautiful as ever.

00:05:57
Speaker 1: Like, I'm glad I saw her in a raw form because we were eating and... I could tell she didn't want to be there. But she had a piece of fish stuck in her teeth. You see this big old pretty smile, right? So every time she smiled, this food was in her teeth. But I didn't want to tell her about it. And so I finally, at the end, I finally said, baby, get that, you got something stuck in your teeth.

00:06:26
Speaker 4: And I'm like, okay, I'm thinking it just happened at that time. And I was like, oh, that's so sweet.

00:06:30
Speaker 1: He's making sure I don't have nothing. Yeah.

00:06:33
Speaker 5: Been there the whole time.

00:06:34
Speaker 6: The whole time. But after that, we never stopped talking. We talked every day. We started dating. And from then on, we was together. And then I found out he had kids. And I was just like, oh, what.

00:06:50
Speaker 4: Am I going to do?

00:06:52
Speaker 6: But I'm starting to fall for this man. I'm just like, I really want to be with him. And then when he was like, he's a single father, I didn't expect him to be like, for real, for real, a single father, like full custody of two little girls.

00:07:05
Speaker 4: He had full.

00:07:06
Speaker 6: Custody of these two beautiful little girls. And I was like, I've never heard that in my life. And I'm like, I think he lying. Cause he was just saying, I did. Cause you know how, when you get, once y'all get, when y'all break up, you don't like her.

00:07:19
Speaker 4: I don't want it. I was like, yeah, he probably just don't like her. And they just mad.

00:07:22
Speaker 6: There's no way. Well, come to find out. He really was telling the truth. He was a single father. Mother just left. She wanted to do her own thing. That's a whole other story. That's another podcast.

00:07:33
Speaker 4: We'll talk about that next.

00:07:35
Speaker 6: But, yeah, so she gone, and he has these daughters. And then keep in mind, y'all, remember how I said we've been talking. So now we're talking every day. We don't went on a trip together. Everything, like, we really, I'm starting to really feel this, man. And he was like, I think it's time for me to meet his daughters.

00:07:54
Speaker 1: Oh, man.

00:07:55
Speaker 4: And I just knew right.

00:07:56
Speaker 6: I started crying because I was like, if they don't like me, it's over. Like, you know, I wouldn't expect him to do anything else. If his daughters were not comfortable with me, I would expect him to be like, okay, I'm done.

00:08:08
Speaker 7: It's a wrap.

00:08:08
Speaker 4: I was terrified to meet his daughters.

00:08:11
Speaker 6: I tried to dodge it a couple of times, but he was just like, no, you know, I think it's time.

00:08:15
Speaker 4: And I'm like, okay, if you think so, let's try this. You want to tell them what you thought about me?

00:08:21
Speaker 5: Yeah, so I had a, I was DJing a lot back then.

00:08:25
Speaker 1: So every time her and her friends would walk into the club that I was DJing at, I would notice her.

00:08:33
Speaker 5: And I was telling my boys, I said, man, who's that? And that's Crystal.

00:08:38
Speaker 1: You don't know Crystal? Yeah, she cool.

00:08:39
Speaker 5: She real cool, whatever.

00:08:40
Speaker 1: I said, okay, cool. Didn't think nothing of it. The second time, I'm DJing another party. Guess who came in?

00:08:46
Speaker 5: Her and her group of friends. And this time I... She looks different.

00:08:53
Speaker 1: Next week, she ain't going to look like this. She's a professional makeup artist as well. She does makeup for a living. It's like I'm cheating on her all the time because she's made up different so much. I said, man, who's that? My DJ partner, he said, man, that's Crystal again. I'm like, that ain't the same Crystal as last time. Yes, the same person. I said, man, I got to meet her. So I knew one of her friends that was in the group. And I asked her if she could introduce me to her. And it was a real quick little introduction. And she told me the whole story. Like, well, she just came out of a bad relationship. So she ain't trying to do nothing rock. So I said, OK. I'm DJing a third party. It was Josh Howard's birthday party. He played with the Dallas Mavericks back in the day. It was his birthday party. And guess who come walking in? This is like a whole two or three months later. Crystal and her friends. Wow. Now, keep in mind, I've been praying to God to whoever's going to come into my life to be the mother to my babies.

00:09:56
Speaker 5: You know, I was like praying for this. Like, I don't want to just.

00:10:00
Speaker 1: Be, I'm not just going to settle for anything for them. And she kept popping up. And that night before the party, I was on my knees at our home and just saying, I really didn't want to, I was almost about to cancel.

00:10:12
Speaker 5: I didn't want to go.

00:10:14
Speaker 1: And because my daughters were just, my youngest just had a bad day and she was kind of sad or whatever, so I didn't want to go. And then I just asked God to guide me. And the energy moved me to keep going. And then she walks in with her friends again. So now at this point, I'm like, okay, I got it. That's when I grabbed her hand and said, you ain't married. And then the rest is history. So, you know, when we went to, when I took her on that first trip, it was to Vegas. It was NBA All-Star Weekend. Wow. We out there broadcasting live. All my boys say, you bringing sand to the beach? This NBA All-Star Rock? You bringing sand to the beach? Man, but I knew. I already knew this was going to be my soulmate right here.

00:11:00
Speaker 5: I already knew.

00:11:02
Speaker 1: And that weekend, man, I just watched her because you could tell she was so stressed out.

00:11:07
Speaker 5: And she just rested.

00:11:09
Speaker 4: She just slept. I slept so hard, y'all, like. prints on the side of my face. I was sleeping. I was so, I.

00:11:16
Speaker 6: Think I was just exhausted of just fighting through everything, pushing through everything.

00:11:22
Speaker 4: Especially the relationship that I was in. I was just tired. I was exhausted.

00:11:27
Speaker 6: And I was a little lush, too. I thought I had a little problem for a little bit. For just a second.

00:11:33
Speaker 4: Because I was drinking all the time.

00:11:35
Speaker 6: Seriously, I really was drinking. I'm going to have fun. I'm taking shots, this and that. When I got with him and in Vegas, when I tell y'all, I didn't have not one drink.

00:11:44
Speaker 4: I was around everybody. Everybody else was drinking. I didn't have one drink. And that's when I looked at him like, I had so much fun with you.

00:11:51
Speaker 6: And I was in my right mind. I was sober in my right mind. And I'm like, and I've never experienced that. And I come from a dysfunctional family where alcohol was just real big. And it was always, you know, somebody getting drunk, they falling apart, they fighting, this and that.

00:12:08
Speaker 4: So that was kind of like the normalcy.

00:12:11
Speaker 5: Excuse me.

00:12:11
Speaker 4: But I didn't want that for myself. So for me to see that I don't.

00:12:15
Speaker 6: Have to drink to have a good time made me realize that, I don't need to be doing all this drinking about who this man was. And I just kept saying, dang, it's something about him. And when I say love him, and I said it early.

00:12:32
Speaker 4: We didn't.

00:12:32
Speaker 5: Sure did.

00:12:33
Speaker 1: I did.

00:12:33
Speaker 4: I said it early.

00:12:34
Speaker 1: Sure did.

00:12:36
Speaker 4: Because seriously, he proposed in six months.

00:12:37
Speaker 2: Okay.

00:12:38
Speaker 1: Done. In six months, he proposed. Done. Tori, done.

00:12:42
Speaker 4: Right? He proposed within six months. His mama wasn't fun. My mama wasn't either. She thought he wanted me to, she said he just wants you to be his babysitter.

00:12:52
Speaker 5: My mom couldn't stand her at the beginning. And her mom couldn't stand me.

00:12:56
Speaker 6: His mama said, well, high school, you pick up from. And when I sat and looked at me just like that.

00:13:02
Speaker 4: But it was his fault. Why? I got to tell this part.

00:13:05
Speaker 5: Go ahead.

00:13:06
Speaker 4: His mama said.

00:13:07
Speaker 5: Go ahead.

00:13:07
Speaker 4: So he asked me. He said, hey, let's go to a barbecue. I was like, okay.

00:13:11
Speaker 6: So, you know, we getting ready to go. I'm going to barbecue with him. So I got me on a little shorts. Got me a little shirt with a little cut. You know, because I'm cute for him. I'm thinking we going with him and his boys.

00:13:20
Speaker 8: Yeah.

00:13:21
Speaker 6: We pull up to his parents' house.

00:13:24
Speaker 4: I looked at him like, you're lying. He was like, no, it's all right. And I'm trying to find a way to pull my shorts.

00:13:31
Speaker 1: Ain't going to help.

00:13:32
Speaker 5: Ain't going to work.

00:13:33
Speaker 6: Nothing was working at all. When I say nothing was working at all. I walk in, his dad was so sweet.

00:13:39
Speaker 5: My dad was like, I see you, son.

00:13:41
Speaker 1: All right, dawg. All right, dawg.

00:13:42
Speaker 5: All right, dawg.

00:13:45
Speaker 6: His dad was so sweet. His mama, that she said. And look to him, what high school you pick her up from?

00:13:52
Speaker 1: True story.

00:13:54
Speaker 5: True story.

00:13:55
Speaker 6: Like, she talked, like, through me. Like, about me, like, I'm not standing right here.

00:14:00
Speaker 4: Like, she was looking at him like, no, I don't want no parts of this. Why you doing this? Get her up out of here. Then, later on, me and her are close now. She is like my best friend. I love her to death.

00:14:13
Speaker 6: And my mama think this man don't do no wrong. So, we arguing about something.

00:14:18
Speaker 4: She be like, well, mija, you know, it's okay. It's okay.

00:14:22
Speaker 1: You know Rocky.

00:14:23
Speaker 4: You know he loves you.

00:14:24
Speaker 6: That's not what we talking about. We talking about what he just did. But, you know, now me and his mom are really close. And now that I had my son... I understand where she's coming from when it's like, you know, bringing people to the house If y'all don't cuss, I do cuss.

00:14:40
Speaker 1: A little bit.

00:14:41
Speaker 4: So if I offend anybody, I'm sorry.

00:14:43
Speaker 6: But I told my son, I was going to pray it holds away from him.

00:14:46
Speaker 4: So I was like, nobody. And then he was over there. I said, every time you get upset, why? The girl didn't work out?

00:14:53
Speaker 6: I said, because your mama prayed it away.

00:14:56
Speaker 4: Come on now. And so.

00:14:59
Speaker 1: It's good. I'm glad. He coming to me like, dad, man, mom did it again.

00:15:04
Speaker 5: I said, you're going to thank her later, son.

00:15:05
Speaker 8: Right.

00:15:06
Speaker 1: You're going to thank her later.

00:15:07
Speaker 6: But it's like, and then she explained to me, like, what happened to him? He has two girls now with the woman he chose at first. And she was like, it just felt like it was about to happen again.

00:15:19
Speaker 4: And she was like, and so I was just looking.

00:15:21
Speaker 6: At him like, why are you still doing this?

00:15:23
Speaker 4: And I said I understand now.

00:15:25
Speaker 6: Completely and I said you don't even have to apologize for it because I get it I totally get it and I would never and I tell my son that too don't you bring her over here with some little bitty shorts you tell her to go change.

00:15:38
Speaker 5: That was my bad right there that was my bad so.

00:15:42
Speaker 1: You want to go ahead and talk about what I got on your nerves today because I already know what you're.

00:15:44
Speaker 6: About to mention what you're about to say oh okay so our property we have an Airbnb so we usually have people to come clean it but they couldn't make it today So I was like, it has to be me and him. His time management is horrible. And then he always thinks we got plenty of time.

00:16:02
Speaker 4: There's plenty of time. We got plenty of time. So it's like 10 o'clock in the morning. We got to be out of there.

00:16:08
Speaker 6: We need to leave our house by 1.30. He's talking about, it's 10 o'clock though. I'm like, we're going in the house. We should clean the inside together first. And then you can work outside. Because the outside, the land was fine.

00:16:21
Speaker 1: No, it wasn't. Yes, it was. Go ahead.

00:16:25
Speaker 4: No, because you even told me. You was like, no, what did you say to me before we got over there?

00:16:29
Speaker 1: Okay. The 30,000 square foot view is fine, but there's details around the house that need to be cleaned up because you don't want the guests coming up with tall grass up under there. I just had to trim around the edges and stuff, but go ahead and continue.

00:16:43
Speaker 5: I'll get there.

00:16:44
Speaker 6: But what I said was let us do the inside first so we can be just done, and then you can do whatever you want to do on the outside, and then we can leave.

00:16:52
Speaker 4: I told you that, and you agreed to that. This fool goes outside.

00:16:59
Speaker 2: Tell it.

00:17:00
Speaker 1: Why are you inside? Why I'm inside.

00:17:02
Speaker 4: But then, and we don't even show up there until what?

00:17:06
Speaker 1: 1130?

00:17:06
Speaker 4: We a little late.

00:17:07
Speaker 8: 1130?

00:17:07
Speaker 4: Yeah. And then I'm looking at him like, you still outside. Why are you outside? And he come there, oh, baby, it's all right. We got plenty of time.

00:17:15
Speaker 1: No, no, no.

00:17:16
Speaker 4: Because we supposed to leave our house at 1230.

00:17:18
Speaker 6: It is almost 1 o'clock when he's talking about we still got plenty of time.

00:17:22
Speaker 1: Oh.

00:17:23
Speaker 7: Yeah.

00:17:24
Speaker 5: So is it my turn now?

00:17:25
Speaker 6: No, no, no, because I don't want it to be your turn yet. Then we still got to go take a shower. We still got to put on our clothes. We still got to get ready for our son's baseball game and drive a whole nother hour and 15 minutes to get to where we going. Again, his time management is wrong. And I keep trying to tell him, I say, if you listen to me, I can help you with your time management. Because have I.

00:17:47
Speaker 4: Not been right?

00:17:49
Speaker 1: Tell the truth. No, your time management is way better than mine.

00:17:53
Speaker 9: It is.

00:17:53
Speaker 1: Absolutely.

00:17:54
Speaker 4: And I don't like to rush. And I'm trying not to get mad.

00:17:57
Speaker 6: And so I get quiet when I don't, when we get into it.

00:18:01
Speaker 4: But let me tell you why I get quiet.

00:18:03
Speaker 3: Message. Oh, I know why.

00:18:04
Speaker 5: Message.

00:18:05
Speaker 1: Here it comes. Don't you?

00:18:07
Speaker 4: I know you already know why. But let me explain because... You know, like I just said earlier, I do cuss a little bit.

00:18:13
Speaker 5: Set it straight.

00:18:15
Speaker 4: I do cuss. But we've set healthy boundaries.

00:18:18
Speaker 6: And one thing he told me was, I don't care if you do your cussing or whatever, but if we're in an argument, in a disagreement, do not use.

00:18:26
Speaker 4: Those cuss words. Because I feel like you're cussing at me. So then I'm like... You know what? I can give you that.

00:18:34
Speaker 6: So when I'm quiet, it's all in my head what I'm saying.

00:18:39
Speaker 4: It's going one after another, like straight at him.

00:18:41
Speaker 6: And I'm trying to let him know. And I'm looking at him like, and then roll my eyes. Because I want him to know it's in there.

00:18:48
Speaker 4: But I'm respecting.

00:18:49
Speaker 1: Right.

00:18:50
Speaker 4: I'm respecting.

00:18:51
Speaker 5: Yes.

00:18:52
Speaker 4: I'm respecting not to cuss at him. So I was quiet today.

00:18:56
Speaker 5: So that's called giving her her moment.

00:18:59
Speaker 1: We've agreed that when those moments happen, give her her moment. And if I'm feeling that way, give me my moment. And we got to take moments because we would rather take moments so we don't cause... Chaos. Because you never want to make a decision while you're emotional. Because if you're angry and mad and you just can't wait to lash back, it ain't going to do nothing but cause drama. So we've learned that about each other. So we've set boundaries. We say, okay, these are our non-negotiables.

00:19:30
Speaker 5: She started first. Stop doing this because I don't like it.

00:19:33
Speaker 1: Here's why. And she went down her whole list. I did the same thing. Okay, stop doing this because I don't like it.

00:19:38
Speaker 5: Here's why.

00:19:40
Speaker 1: And then we just said, okay, we can agree to disagree on this thing, but we got to have a compromise down in the middle. And once we agreed to those boundaries, that's when our relationship went to a whole nother level. And now when we argue. We argue still, but they don't last long. And then we started laughing afterwards because we realized it ain't even that serious. Like, you see how, you see, you seen all the wrinkles in the forehead as she.

00:20:09
Speaker 4: Was explaining that?

00:20:13
Speaker 1: She was mad. She was angry. And I felt her energy earlier, you know, and But what I love about her now is because the old version of her, oh, she would have been popping, you know, like, not cussing, but she's still giving it to me. And I'm a non-confrontational type guy.

00:20:31
Speaker 8: Yeah.

00:20:32
Speaker 6: And I didn't.

00:20:33
Speaker 4: Understand that at first. Are some of y'all like that? Non-confrontational?

00:20:37
Speaker 5: Uh-oh, she looking hard right there.

00:20:39
Speaker 10: And I used to think something was wrong.

00:20:43
Speaker 4: Like, fight back. Like, say something back. I don't want to fight. And I don't understand why I wanted to fight him.

00:20:52
Speaker 5: But think about it.

00:20:53
Speaker 1: If I lash back hard at her, she's going to be like, okay, let's go.

00:20:58
Speaker 5: And vice versa.

00:20:59
Speaker 1: So we're like, oh, because it's called ego, guys. And when you lead with your ego, that's the worst thing you can do. Ego is your biggest enemy. So sometimes I got to let her win the battle. Sometimes she got to let.

00:21:11
Speaker 5: Me win the battle.

00:21:13
Speaker 1: Even if we don't agree with each other. Because once we calm down, And then we come back and revisit the situation. We're going to realize, man, it really wasn't that serious. It wasn't that serious. Because every day, I'd probably do something to get on her nerves.

00:21:29
Speaker 4: But guess what? She'd do something to get on.

00:21:32
Speaker 3: Mine, too.

00:21:32
Speaker 5: And I just, we learned each other's love language.

00:21:36
Speaker 1: And Every time you talk about love language, go ahead, because I know I can see.

00:21:46
Speaker 5: It in your eyes.

00:21:47
Speaker 4: No, I know.

00:21:48
Speaker 6: I didn't realize how big love language was until we took the test.

00:21:53
Speaker 4: And then I started to realize. And the crazy thing is.

00:21:55
Speaker 6: We're kind of complete opposite on what I like. Like, I don't like touchy-feely.

00:22:01
Speaker 4: He likes touchy-feely.

00:22:03
Speaker 5: That's crazy, ain't it?

00:22:04
Speaker 9: I know.

00:22:04
Speaker 4: I don't like all that. Like, we can hug and we can kiss, but.

00:22:09
Speaker 5: So, fellas, afterwards, right?

00:22:11
Speaker 11: Afterwards.

00:22:14
Speaker 1: You would think she'd want to be the one to do all the cuddling.

00:22:17
Speaker 5: She'd be like, man, I'm good.

00:22:19
Speaker 4: No, I'm good.

00:22:20
Speaker 1: It's hot.

00:22:20
Speaker 4: Because it's hot.

00:22:23
Speaker 1: Thank you.

00:22:24
Speaker 4: Thank you, honey.

00:22:27
Speaker 5: Right.

00:22:27
Speaker 4: We done hit it and quit it with each other. Do you hear me? We sure did.

00:22:34
Speaker 1: We did.

00:22:36
Speaker 4: But he.

00:22:40
Speaker 6: Is real touchy-feely. And I'm more so acts of service, I think.

00:22:48
Speaker 1: Oh, yeah, absolutely.

00:22:49
Speaker 4: I love acts of service, and I love me some gifts. Yes!

00:22:55
Speaker 1: Man!

00:22:57
Speaker 4: Like, okay, see? I know, and then I realized, what was your other one?

00:23:03
Speaker 5: What you mean?

00:23:04
Speaker 4: Because your main one was a touchy-feely.

00:23:06
Speaker 6: But when I learn that about him, I make a point to try to, like, touch him.

00:23:11
Speaker 4: I'll rub his head at night. Oh, man. Or, you know, just so.

00:23:15
Speaker 1: Will she get to doing this right here? Oh! Man!

00:23:23
Speaker 4: I'm making a point to do that. So I want him to know, like, okay.

00:23:27
Speaker 6: I see, I hear what you're saying, and when he does stuff for me, I realize, like, it makes me happy, it makes him happy, and.

00:23:34
Speaker 1: We feel good together. And that's a good point to make, because if I can be the best version of myself, I'm going to bring out the best of her. Yeah.

00:23:42
Speaker 8: And.

00:23:45
Speaker 5: We don't believe in 50-50. It's 100-100. Right.

00:23:48
Speaker 4: I want all of you.

00:23:50
Speaker 1: If we're going to do this, it's all in. And if it can't be all in, then it's not going to work. That's right. And one thing, we got a microphone right here, too. So as we're going on and you guys have some questions, like, hey, how y'all handle this?

00:24:06
Speaker 5: What y'all do in this situation? Feel free to.

00:24:09
Speaker 1: Pick up the microphone and ask us some questions or whatever. But I fall in love with this woman. Every single day.

00:24:17
Speaker 4: You're so sweet.

00:24:19
Speaker 1: And we were just talking about this the other day about staying in the honeymoon stage. And at first, we used to argue about that. She's like, because she's like, I'm not the same person that we were when we met.

00:24:30
Speaker 4: No, no, no. You're on a different subject.

00:24:33
Speaker 6: What I would say was, how do you stay in the honeymoon when the honeymoon's over?

00:24:37
Speaker 4: Like, after you get married, you had the honeymoon, it's over. Nobody's just going to be all happy all the time.

00:24:42
Speaker 6: So I just couldn't understand why he kept saying, yes, we can stay in the honeymoon phase all the time. I just was like, there's no possible way. Until I said, okay. Let me, let me, let's try this. But how'd you break it down to me?

00:24:56
Speaker 1: That's how it was.

00:24:57
Speaker 4: When you finally, when I finally decided to listen.

00:24:59
Speaker 5: Think about it. When you first get married.

00:25:00
Speaker 4: Close my mouth.

00:25:01
Speaker 5: And you go on your honeymoon.

00:25:04
Speaker 7: And listen.

00:25:05
Speaker 1: That part.

00:25:05
Speaker 4: Okay, Rocky.

00:25:07
Speaker 1: Close your mouth and listen. Think about it. During the honeymoon stage, what? Every, we're happy.

00:25:14
Speaker 4: Yeah.

00:25:15
Speaker 1: We're like little kids.

00:25:16
Speaker 9: Yeah.

00:25:18
Speaker 1: And the energy, whatever it is that got you excited about the person, to even want to marry them and spend the rest of your life with them, why can't we stay there right here? I know we're going to get older.

00:25:29
Speaker 5: I know we're going to mature.

00:25:30
Speaker 1: I know we're going to stop doing certain things that we used to when you were younger. But right here? We can always laugh. We can always be giddy about each other. We can always be silly and fun. We can always feel like we're teenagers or whatever. That's what I meant by staying in the honeymoon stage. And even through the tough times. And when she finally came over to that side of the fence, that was another moment that our relationship took a big jump.

00:25:56
Speaker 5: Because we stopped taking everything so serious.

00:25:59
Speaker 1: Right.

00:26:00
Speaker 6: And then it was like, start doing little things for your spouse. So I would randomly tell him, I would text him and tell him how proud I am of him. I'm so happy with my husband. I've been seeing how hard you work and everything.

00:26:17
Speaker 4: I would, and then realize, like I just recently did a fast.

00:26:21
Speaker 6: And he let me know, like letting him know how much I appreciate him and checking on him meant to him. And I was like, you know what? I need to do more of that. And then I want to bring this up, too, because whenever I didn't know.

00:26:35
Speaker 4: If he appreciated me because, you know, we got the kids. We're running around. I'm always busy. He's traveling.

00:26:42
Speaker 6: He was only home three days a week at this point. And then I was like, I just don't feel appreciated. But I didn't know how to tell him that. And then when I finally said it, he was like.

00:26:53
Speaker 4: I say it all the time. I say it on the radio. Everybody knows that I appreciate you. I said, I'm not everybody or that raggedy radio. I am me. I'm your wife. Like, talk to me.

00:27:06
Speaker 6: And then when he stopped doing Dish Nation, he calls me.

00:27:10
Speaker 4: He was just like, babe, I just want to tell you I appreciate you.

00:27:13
Speaker 6: When I tell y'all I started crying, he thought something was wrong with me.

00:27:16
Speaker 4: I was like, oh my, really? You really appreciate me?

00:27:23
Speaker 6: And it's like those, it's little things that will make us happy.

00:27:28
Speaker 4: But we got to figure out what that is for our mate.

00:27:30
Speaker 6: So I tell people all the time, if we're constantly teaching and learning each.

00:27:35
Speaker 4: Other, we're going to naturally grow together instead of grow apart.

00:27:38
Speaker 1: Yes.

00:27:38
Speaker 4: Because now we're learning each other in each stage of life because we're not the same person. And when he said that, it's because he used to tell me, you're not the same person you was before we got married. I said, you're right. And he was like, you're not the same person you was before you had a baby.

00:27:54
Speaker 1: You're right.

00:27:55
Speaker 4: I'm different.

00:27:56
Speaker 6: And we've got to learn that. So I have to teach him what I like and what I don't like. And he has to learn and vice versa. So I had to learn a lot with him because I'm not going to lie.

00:28:08
Speaker 4: I am spoiled.

00:28:09
Speaker 1: That's his fault.

00:28:10
Speaker 6: I am the baby of the family too. So it just, I like think, I feel like I've been spoiled all my life.

00:28:16
Speaker 4: So, and I felt like it was always about me and I had to learn.

00:28:20
Speaker 6: It's not about me and the marriage.

00:28:23
Speaker 4: And I didn't know that at first. Wait a minute. I think I see our prayer group back there. This light is blinding me, but if it is back there, say, just raise your hand.

00:28:35
Speaker 5: They rolled up in here.

00:28:37
Speaker 4: Thank y'all for coming. I love y'all.

00:28:39
Speaker 1: But she did teach me what she just mentioned.

00:28:41
Speaker 5: She taught me that.

00:28:42
Speaker 1: You got to teach people how to treat you.

00:28:43
Speaker 2: Absolutely.

00:28:45
Speaker 1: And, you know, I learned that from her because I'm always on kind of autopilot with happiness and just positive energy. And if there's any kind of negative energy that comes into my space, I stiff arm it. And that's good for the most part, but I can't stiff arm my best friend. Right.

00:29:05
Speaker 5: There's a difference.

00:29:06
Speaker 1: I can't step on my best friend. So, you know, when we have those moments and negative comes in, adversity comes in, whatever it is, and I'm like, okay, I got amnesia.

00:29:20
Speaker 5: Like, okay, what's the problem? Let's get straight to the solution.

00:29:22
Speaker 1: This is another thing that used to get on her nerves a lot. It's not always about finding the solution.

00:29:26
Speaker 12: I'm like.

00:29:27
Speaker 1: Why not? You want to sit in this?

00:29:31
Speaker 6: No, first of all, that's not what it was. It's not that I want to sit in it. I just want to be heard, if that makes sense.

00:29:39
Speaker 1: There's a difference.

00:29:39
Speaker 6: There's a difference so it's like if we're arguing back and forth and you want and I'm telling you what's wrong he's he was just he'll just hurry up let's hurry and figure out.

00:29:47
Speaker 4: What's well no no stop just.

00:29:49
Speaker 6: Listen I want to feel heard sometimes I just need Somebody to vent to. And if you're my best friend, let me vent to you. Let me just say what's wrong. We don't have to come up with a solution right now.

00:30:01
Speaker 4: Like, pause for just a second. And then I'm like, why do you do that? Then tell them why you said that.

00:30:09
Speaker 5: Because I don't like sitting in anything for a long period of time.

00:30:12
Speaker 4: That's not what he said. He forgot. You can tell. But he told me.

00:30:15
Speaker 1: You see how I tried to play it off? He did. He tried.

00:30:19
Speaker 4: Like, man, you put me on the spot.

00:30:21
Speaker 1: Yeah, I am.

00:30:22
Speaker 4: But he told me.

00:30:22
Speaker 6: He was like, I hate to see you upset. I hate to see you sad. I hate to see you bothered. So my whole goal is to make sure, like, let's come up with something else. I don't want to see this. I don't want to see you down.

00:30:37
Speaker 4: You're the last person I want to see upset.

00:30:39
Speaker 1: Absolutely. Here's why I said that. When she's down, I'm down. I don't care if we have a disagreement at the moment. I don't care if you want to be over there and I want to be over there. While I'm over there, I don't feel good because my best friend is down. I'm like, okay, how do we fix this? I want to fix it fast.

00:31:01
Speaker 5: She's right.

00:31:02
Speaker 1: I had to listen. I had to listen to get an understanding on how she's feeling. Not listen and waiting to lash back. Because that's what we do a lot of times, like okay, I can't wait. I can't wait to respond. Right.

00:31:17
Speaker 4: In this, he would have a notepad.

00:31:21
Speaker 1: Oh. Yes.

00:31:23
Speaker 4: So as we're talking and I'm telling him what's wrong, he's like, what you writing for? He's like, I want to make sure I hit all these points. I get even more mad. When I tell y'all, I'll be hot as a fish grease.

00:31:34
Speaker 5: I didn't want to forget, y'all. I didn't want to forget what I wanted to say.

00:31:38
Speaker 4: Ready to get him. You heard me.

00:31:40
Speaker 5: Like, Rocky, you said.

00:31:42
Speaker 6: I don't want to forget this part because I get to forgetting what you're talking about.

00:31:45
Speaker 1: Like, no.

00:31:46
Speaker 4: That means you're not listening. That's all that means.

00:31:49
Speaker 6: And you're trying to respond to everything. And it's kind of like being tit for tat. And when you're going tit for tat, you're going to keep arguing. You cannot bring up that past into a new argument. If we're dealing with what we're dealing with right now, don't.

00:32:04
Speaker 4: Tell me, well, you did it.

00:32:05
Speaker 1: Uh-uh.

00:32:05
Speaker 6: We're not talking about that because you had your chance back then to say something to me that bothered you. And you didn't say nothing back then. So I don't even want to talk about it. I want to talk about the now and what you did.

00:32:16
Speaker 1: Yeah, you can't keep score. Once you settle it, that's it. And whoever brings up the past, shame on you.

00:32:25
Speaker 5: Now, here's the deal.

00:32:27
Speaker 1: It's still going to happen. but if it keeps happening it's game over so it's like okay I'm going to give you that I'm going to give you this one right here just one time let's finish because obviously it ain't resolved with you it's not resolved I thought we resolved it but with you it's still not resolved so how can we let's talk and let's get this part resolved what can I do to help you resolve this emotion that you still have because the next time something happens it's going to be a trigger again right And you got to have the patience. But now after this time, we ain't going to keep coming back to this. You know, I don't believe in one step forward, two steps back. If we're going to fall, we're falling forward. We ain't falling backwards.

00:33:12
Speaker 5: You know?

00:33:13
Speaker 1: So, you know, one thing that I want to share when it comes to the C word. Communication is everything. Communication is everything. And we struggle with that. Oh, we did.

00:33:28
Speaker 6: I tell people all the time, I felt like I was alone in a marriage.

00:33:32
Speaker 4: I didn't get married to feel alone.

00:33:34
Speaker 6: And I was feeling so alone and guilty.

00:33:37
Speaker 4: And I felt like I was the only one feeling like that.

00:33:39
Speaker 6: And it's like you're walking on eggshells trying to say something, but you didn't know if you could say that.

00:33:44
Speaker 4: And it was like, but I didn't know how to talk to him.

00:33:46
Speaker 6: And then I felt like he should know already or why didn't you?

00:33:50
Speaker 4: And that's another thing I had to learn. Women, men really don't know when they don't know.

00:33:55
Speaker 1: They're not mind readers.

00:33:57
Speaker 6: When they say, like he said, they're not mind readers.

00:34:00
Speaker 4: Like, even though I'm like, you should have paid attention to this last time. Like, we've already been over this. But they don't remember. So it's me learning to communicate and say what's wrong.

00:34:11
Speaker 6: And then communicate the right way, not with the whole attitude. Because if I come at him with the attitude, that's still not a good communication.

00:34:19
Speaker 4: And he's not going to, I know he's not going to listen. Because he's not with me. He hates, he do not like to fight or argue. And I'm glad that you don't. Now I don't. I don't like fight and argue. But I think back then I did.

00:34:31
Speaker 6: I had a problem until I got counseling.

00:34:33
Speaker 4: For real, I did. I'm going to end up going to counseling. Seriously.

00:34:36
Speaker 1: I did.

00:34:37
Speaker 6: I had to go to counseling because we were about to divorce. He had drew up separation papers. And this was year seven of our marriage.

00:34:49
Speaker 4: And it was horrible. It was tough around this time.

00:34:53
Speaker 5: I want you to share that story.

00:34:54
Speaker 4: Okay.

00:34:55
Speaker 1: Share the story.

00:34:56
Speaker 6: So I was just not, okay, how do I start it first? So I'm going to start it.

00:35:04
Speaker 5: Let me set this up first.

00:35:05
Speaker 1: Okay. Back to when I was doing Dish Nation. And I would travel to Atlanta. And Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday, I'm taping the Dish Nation TV show in Atlanta. I hop on a flight, come back home, and I'm home. Thursday night through Sunday. And I'm back on a flight back to Atlanta for three years. And there was this one moment where I was getting out, her and our son would drop me off at the airport every Sunday. And I normally kiss her, tell her I love her, kiss my son, tell him, hey, you're the man of the house now.

00:35:38
Speaker 5: I'll be back in a few days.

00:35:39
Speaker 1: Close the door, I'll go in the airport, get on the flight, go to Atlanta. One time, this one time, I closed the door and I'm going into the airport and And something told me to look back. And I looked back, and my son was in the back seat, bawling, crying.

00:35:56
Speaker 5: And I went up, opened the door.

00:35:58
Speaker 1: I said, what's wrong, son? And then she's like, he does this every Sunday you leave. I said, why haven't you told me?

00:36:05
Speaker 5: And she was just like, it's all good. You know, you're out there.

00:36:08
Speaker 1: You know, you're providing. You're doing, you know, this is great for your career. And we just don't want to disrupt nothing. She never told me this. So I literally grabbed him out the car. Brought him into the airport, bought him a ticket on the spot. He came to Atlanta with me that day. And he stayed with me the whole week in Atlanta. But after that was over, we had a conversation about it. And that's when she started sharing, I feel like I'm alone here.

00:36:32
Speaker 5: So now you can pick it up.

00:36:33
Speaker 6: Right, and it's just our oldest was really, like, getting in trouble all the time. I'm having to go to the school. I'm trying to figure, she has this attitude. Then it's like we're trying to get her help. So then she was suggested to go see a psychiatrist. So we were like, you know, on the way there, we was like, listen, this is not me.

00:36:52
Speaker 4: You're crazy.

00:36:53
Speaker 6: This is not a bad thing. This is just going to help you. It's like you, when you break your arm, you need a.

00:36:57
Speaker 4: Cast, you go get the help and you're going to heal.

00:37:00
Speaker 6: So she goes in for her first session and she's there and she comes out. We go in as parents so we can get the next steps of what we're going to do next for her.

00:37:10
Speaker 4: So as we're sitting there and we're talking, The psychiatrist looked at me. She just stopped. She was like, I need to see you. And I was like, I'm not crazy. I meant that. When I tell y'all, I meant every last bit of that. She was like, I can't.

00:37:27
Speaker 6: Help your daughter if mom's not okay. And then when I tell y'all, I was humiliated. I was embarrassed because it was in front of him. And I was like, I know she saw something in me. And she actually stopped and said, You know, God told me I need to see it. And I was just looking at her like, I wanted to say no. And if I could have, I know God was in here telling my.

00:37:51
Speaker 4: Girl, you better say yes.

00:37:52
Speaker 6: Like, I feel like that's what he was like. So that's what made me say yes. So probably about our fifth session in is when everything finally came out that I was molested by two family members. Didn't realize my childhood trauma was following me to my marriage.

00:38:09
Speaker 4: Had no idea. Sorry, I get a little emotional about this part.

00:38:14
Speaker 6: So then I go home. Me and him are not speaking. We don't really want to talk to each other. And he's just like, I don't. He didn't have nothing to say. He just didn't care. So that day I went for a walk. And then I kind of just dropped to my knees. And I just said, God, I surrender. And I was just crying.

00:38:38
Speaker 4: I surrender. I don't know.

00:38:39
Speaker 1: What else to do.

00:38:40
Speaker 6: I'll follow your lead, whatever you want me to do. So I get up, come back. I told him, I said, I need to talk to you.

00:38:46
Speaker 4: He was like, I ain't got nothing to say. I said, I get it.

00:38:49
Speaker 6: I said, we can still go on with what we need to go on with, but I need to talk to you and tell you this.

00:38:56
Speaker 4: And I knew this man was going to look at me different. Like, I knew for a fact.

00:39:01
Speaker 6: So I sat him down and I said, I was molested by two family members.

00:39:08
Speaker 4: And he did look at me different. He was like, you're more beautiful than you were before.

00:39:16
Speaker 5: She was. Absolutely.

00:39:18
Speaker 4: He gave me a hug.

00:39:22
Speaker 1: And that was a moment where everything that we had been through up until that moment just immediately just disappeared. Didn't even matter no more. The only thing that mattered was my angel right here. And now I understand. And that was our big moment. I think that was a pivotal moment. Very pivotal moment in our marriage. And I know you took it.

00:39:47
Speaker 4: I'm not trying to cry on this stage.

00:39:50
Speaker 1: Any napkins out there for me next winter? and that was a moment guys where just being honest.

00:39:58
Speaker 4: I'm going to be honest why I'm crying.

00:40:01
Speaker 6: I get embarrassed easily when it comes to this for some reason I feel like as soon as I'm like I got it I'm strong I can say it in front of people because I want to help because I have a girls program for this very reason because I want to help so many people And I don't want to feel embarrassed.

00:40:26
Speaker 4: I want to feel like I'm here. I feel like I am, but then I get to this moment and it feels like it comes back.

00:40:33
Speaker 1: That's why she's such a... Listen, her having the courage to do this, that's why I always say, babe, share your story because so many people are going through some tough times. And when they see that you're strong enough to face it because you can't run from it. And when you face it, you're going to be able to get through it. And then once you get through it, because God got you. God carried you the whole way. You got to get out of your own way. And again, that was another moment when I fell in love with her all over again. And she has, from that moment till now, man, it's, I tell you, now you understand why I fall in love with her every day. It's just a blessing to be able to have your best friend that can be strong enough to go through something like that and now still wake up and put a lot of her energy into others. And when I tell you she got the biggest heart, it's never about her. It's always about, if she hear a story about something, she's always trying to figure out how can we help, how can we, and that's why she started the program Pretty Insecure for girls and young women. And every girl that's been through her program have made a complete 180 shift. Every last one of them.

00:41:56
Speaker 5: So I want to brag on her for that.

00:41:59
Speaker 4: They did it. I just helped them along. I don't feel like I did it.

00:42:02
Speaker 6: Because I know sometimes you just need somebody to understand.

00:42:07
Speaker 3: You just need a safe space where you can't talk to your mom.

00:42:10
Speaker 4: Or your dad or friends or aunts or anything. Well, honestly, I don't even want them talking to their friends.

00:42:15
Speaker 6: I told them that, too, because I was like, y'all friends is going to stir y'all in the wrong direction.

00:42:19
Speaker 4: So I need y'all to stop talking to y'all. They ain't been through nothing.

00:42:23
Speaker 6: How they been through something? Y'all on the same grave.

00:42:25
Speaker 4: Like, no. Listen to your mama and daddy. And I talk to my girls like that.

00:42:35
Speaker 6: One of my prayer group members out here, two of them, I've had their daughters in my girls program. And when I tell you I'm so proud of those young ladies, they have done a complete 180 on their own and being.

00:42:55
Speaker 4: Like, just blossom. But it started with me, I got onto them too.

00:42:59
Speaker 6: Like, I'm so straightforward with them and it's like providing a safe space so they can say, I'm not okay, or I want to do this, or I wanna go here. Because for some reason, when I was growing up, if you're an athlete or you're like the popular kid or you're light skinned or you're this, that nothing should be wrong with you. Like, why is something wrong with you? Like, why do you feel like, why are you not okay? Why are you not? And it's like, now you're making me feel bad to say something's wrong. So that's why I don't want any girl. My goal is to not let any young woman ever feel like ashamed for saying I need help or something is wrong.

00:43:38
Speaker 4: I want to talk to someone. So that has been my goal and my passion.

00:43:43
Speaker 6: My girls program is going on four years this next year.

00:43:48
Speaker 5: Yes.

00:43:48
Speaker 1: I appreciate it. Absolutely. So look, we want to hear from you guys. Anybody have anything that you guys, any questions? Anything that you want to ask us? It's wide open.

00:44:03
Speaker 4: I have a basic question.

00:44:05
Speaker 13: So You were together for seven years before you almost separated.

00:44:11
Speaker 3: How long have y'all actually been together? How old is your son that you've had together?

00:44:18
Speaker 1: So ironically, when we leave here tonight, we're going to be kicking off our 18th anniversary weekend. Yay!

00:44:27
Speaker 4: We've been together for 20 years total. So God is good when I tell y'all.

00:44:35
Speaker 1: Yes, indeed.

00:44:36
Speaker 4: He knew I needed him.

00:44:38
Speaker 5: And I definitely needed her, Jack.

00:44:42
Speaker 1: Man. Yes.

00:44:44
Speaker 5: Go ahead.

00:44:45
Speaker 6: No, I just wanted, I do have a question for any couples that are out here. Like, how do y'all handle y'all's arguments?

00:44:53
Speaker 7: Hmm.

00:44:55
Speaker 6: Like, how do y'all get past them? Like, how do you get through it? How do you get past it?

00:44:59
Speaker 5: She said, ooh.

00:45:00
Speaker 1: Ooh.

00:45:01
Speaker 4: Yeah, I feel like you're like, ooh, I don't know.

00:45:03
Speaker 5: Microphone right there.

00:45:06
Speaker 4: Like, did I get in there?

00:45:09
Speaker 1: Is the mic on? AC, is the mic on?

00:45:12
Speaker 4: She said, yes.

00:45:13
Speaker 8: Okay.

00:45:14
Speaker 4: It don't sound.

00:45:15
Speaker 2: It's in and out, but I talk louder.

00:45:17
Speaker 4: Okay, that's okay. No, we good, we good. We good. Okay. Okay, so for us.

00:45:25
Speaker 7: Okay, for us, because we blended family, definitely understood the journey that you went through, right?

00:45:35
Speaker 4: Definitely got you.

00:45:38
Speaker 11: And for us, for me, I have to pause for a moment.

00:45:45
Speaker 2: Because I am a fighter.

00:45:47
Speaker 1: Yeah. Right?

00:45:48
Speaker 2: And so it's like, okay, let's get it in.

00:45:51
Speaker 1: Right.

00:45:51
Speaker 4: Hey, you probably know what's going on. Right, right, right.

00:45:58
Speaker 1: So for me, because he's non-confrontational.

00:46:02
Speaker 4: You know, he's like.

00:46:04
Speaker 1: Hey, let me sit down somewhere. Right.

00:46:07
Speaker 4: You know, the tornado.

00:46:12
Speaker 11: For us i think that um for the most part i realize that and i respect him so much so for me i sit down and i say okay i.

00:46:21
Speaker 14: Get quiet yeah okay so i get quiet because one i want to make sure that i don't do anything That is going to, or say anything that is going to hinder our progression.

00:46:36
Speaker 1: First of all. Oh, yeah. Come on.

00:46:38
Speaker 11: And secondly, because I respect him as the head of our household.

00:46:42
Speaker 1: That part.

00:46:42
Speaker 11: And I respect how God has placed us together.

00:46:46
Speaker 1: Amen.

00:46:47
Speaker 11: I don't want to be the woman that tears down my own household.

00:46:52
Speaker 9: Come on.

00:46:52
Speaker 1: Come on. And that's why he over there smiling right now.

00:46:56
Speaker 4: He over there.

00:46:57
Speaker 1: Cheesing from ear to ear.

00:47:00
Speaker 14: Now, I will say, you know, he is non-confrontational, but if he's like, hey, what is it?

00:47:08
Speaker 4: Give me a hey.

00:47:10
Speaker 1: Hey, right.

00:47:12
Speaker 4: I know what that hey means. I know what that means.

00:47:18
Speaker 6: I absolutely know what that hey means.

00:47:21
Speaker 4: That means be quiet. Hey, hey. Right, right, right.

00:47:30
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah.

00:47:32
Speaker 4: Yeah, I love it.

00:47:34
Speaker 5: I love it.

00:47:35
Speaker 1: Where's the last moment that you remember of when I gave you that hey moment.

00:47:40
Speaker 5: I know you got a story.

00:47:42
Speaker 4: It's on me. That is a shame that it's like that.

00:47:53
Speaker 5: I think it had to do with your drinking.

00:47:56
Speaker 4: Oh, yeah, because I would. Well, you said it so much.

00:48:01
Speaker 5: You say how I used to pray.

00:48:03
Speaker 6: Oh, when I tell y'all he prayed that alcohol about my system for me not to want it.

00:48:08
Speaker 4: I promise you he did.

00:48:09
Speaker 1: I so did.

00:48:10
Speaker 4: Because.

00:48:11
Speaker 5: I didn't make her stop drinking. He did it.

00:48:14
Speaker 1: I didn't give her no ultimatum or nothing.

00:48:16
Speaker 4: No, he didn't. But he was just. No, one night you did.

00:48:19
Speaker 1: You was like, hey.

00:48:21
Speaker 12: Oh, yeah.

00:48:21
Speaker 1: I forgot about that. Yeah. I forgot about that. Hey, there you go.

00:48:24
Speaker 5: Hey, I forgot about that one.

00:48:26
Speaker 4: He said, all right, now you doing a look.

00:48:28
Speaker 1: Hey, come here.

00:48:30
Speaker 4: Are you knowing how to look? Like you're a kid. Almost like you're a kid again. Like, hey, come here. Okay. Okay. I listen.

00:48:39
Speaker 1: I listen.

00:48:40
Speaker 6: And then it literally, I'm not trying, I'm not kidding y'all. Like out of nowhere, I just was like, I don't want a drink. I don't want nothing to drink. And don't drink like that. And when I tell you, he was like, did you pray that up out of me?

00:48:54
Speaker 4: He said, sure did.

00:48:55
Speaker 1: Man, at the top of the list.

00:49:00
Speaker 5: It was. Anybody else? Okay, right here.

00:49:09
Speaker 2: So congratulations to you both.

00:49:10
Speaker 1: Thank you.

00:49:11
Speaker 5: Appreciate you.

00:49:12
Speaker 2: So the way we handle our things, they don't vary confrontational. Cheese brush.

00:49:18
Speaker 1: Awesome.

00:49:20
Speaker 4: Rushed it. That's why you beautiful. These are beautiful.

00:49:24
Speaker 15: One thing I think that holds us together is it's amazing that when she wakes up in the morning, she's happy.

00:49:35
Speaker 11: I'm not.

00:49:36
Speaker 15: But I don't want to ruin her happiness or I don't want to.

00:49:42
Speaker 2: Be the cause of her unhappiness. It checks myself. And I'm happy that you guys had it.

00:49:48
Speaker 8: Because one of the things we were talking about is every couple.

00:49:52
Speaker 4: Needs a speed bump. No, come on.

00:49:55
Speaker 15: Love requires a speed bump.

00:49:59
Speaker 4: You need to.

00:50:00
Speaker 2: Get past the speed bump. So I'm very happy you all got.

00:50:03
Speaker 1: Past your speed bump.

00:50:05
Speaker 5: I appreciate that. Thank you so much.

00:50:07
Speaker 1: Man, congratulations to you of not wanting to disrupt her natural happiness.

00:50:13
Speaker 11: Yeah.

00:50:13
Speaker 5: Because that's helping you become non-confrontational.

00:50:16
Speaker 1: So you see how it works?

00:50:18
Speaker 4: It's worked out.

00:50:20
Speaker 1: You have to coordinate.

00:50:22
Speaker 4: I didn't mean that.

00:50:24
Speaker 1: I didn't mean that to say that.

00:50:28
Speaker 4: You made me lose my train of thought. I was right there about to say it. You said that.

00:50:33
Speaker 1: I knew it.

00:50:33
Speaker 4: Man, what was I about to say? Sorry, I lost my train of thought. I really did. Okay, sorry. Question three. So how did you deal with.

00:50:43
Speaker 9: Your husband being away, dealing with the kids and their attitudes and all that?

00:50:48
Speaker 4: How did you deal with that while he was away?

00:50:51
Speaker 6: Like I tell everybody else, God. Because I really, honestly, it's a blur now. So what I honestly started to do was, my mother-in-law taught me this.

00:51:02
Speaker 4: My best friend. She was just like, sometimes you just going to have to pray about it and leave it with him. And she was like, and just stay calm. And I'm like, how do you stay calm?

00:51:13
Speaker 6: Because they pop and I'm ready to pop off right back at them.

00:51:16
Speaker 1: Why?

00:51:17
Speaker 4: Because I can't stay calm.

00:51:18
Speaker 6: She's like, but you need to let them know that you are running this house.

00:51:23
Speaker 4: And you can do that without.

00:51:25
Speaker 6: Hollering and screaming and yelling at them and letting them get to you. She was like, you just let them know this is what we're doing. Stop asking them what they want to do. Stop asking them what they want to eat. Stop asking them, hey, do you want to wear this? It's like, hey, this is what you're doing. This is what you're wearing. This is where we're going. And so when I learned to come up with a schedule, when I learned to say, hey, we're.

00:51:47
Speaker 4: Doing X, Y, and Z, and if you okay, I don't want to hear the ooh, ah, what?

00:51:53
Speaker 1: Oh, okay.

00:51:54
Speaker 4: No, you want to do it. Oh, okay.

00:51:56
Speaker 6: Okay, let's get past it. So that was how I was able to get through it. But also God.

00:52:01
Speaker 4: I really don't know. That was a good question too.

00:52:09
Speaker 8: So Rock and Crystal, I know we have a couple of single ladies in the audience as well, so I'm sure you will have some questions going frequently towards you, Crystal, on some ideas or thoughts that some of these ladies might have.

00:52:23
Speaker 1: I want to make sure that we give them an opportunity to ask.

00:52:26
Speaker 2: Some questions on, you know, what were your thought.

00:52:28
Speaker 8: Processes and how did things come about for you to make things easier in life?

00:52:33
Speaker 2: So We have anyone?

00:52:34
Speaker 3: I think I'm the only.

00:52:35
Speaker 4: Single lady in here. Yeah, nobody else is. Oh, two single people in here.

00:52:42
Speaker 16: Come on.

00:52:42
Speaker 4: Now I'm not going to go outside. Stay away from the club.

00:52:48
Speaker 3: No, that's fine.

00:52:50
Speaker 8: Okay.

00:52:52
Speaker 1: Okay.

00:52:52
Speaker 12: I'm on the spot.

00:52:53
Speaker 1: Well, put it up.

00:52:54
Speaker 4: Is that mic on back there?

00:52:56
Speaker 5: Yeah, it's on.

00:52:56
Speaker 1: Okay.

00:53:01
Speaker 9: Okay, y'all, I'm so sorry. I don't have a spot here. My question would be, at the same time, what advice or encouragement would you give to us.

00:53:14
Speaker 4: To seek a marriage, seek a union?

00:53:17
Speaker 3: Because right now, everything's peaceful.

00:53:19
Speaker 4: It's just me.

00:53:20
Speaker 9: I don't know how chaotic it can be until I get back into another relationship.

00:53:24
Speaker 3: So what would you encourage and what would you give us?

00:53:29
Speaker 6: The encouragement I would get is to learn from your past relationships on what went wrong and understand what you want and what you don't want and never settle. Because I feel like sometimes when you're single and you've been single for a while, we get to a point where we're like, okay, I'm ready to get married. Because I know some people that are, you know, 45 at this time and like, I'm not married, something like, I want to be married, this and that. So they're willing to lower their standards just so they can be married and And then they get in this marriage, and now they're unhappy. So I definitely think look at your past relationships and what could you have learned of what you.

00:54:07
Speaker 4: Could have done better.

00:54:08
Speaker 6: Not so much of what they could, because you can't control what other people do.

00:54:11
Speaker 4: You can only control what you can do.

00:54:13
Speaker 6: And learn, like, I'm not going to go through this no more, and I know this is exactly what I want.

00:54:18
Speaker 4: That's my advice.

00:54:19
Speaker 1: Absolutely.

00:54:20
Speaker 4: Hopefully it helped.

00:54:22
Speaker 1: Absolutely. And know what you want. For real, know what you want. Pull out that yellow notepad.

00:54:28
Speaker 5: That I used to write on.

00:54:30
Speaker 1: And write down your non-negotiables. And then the ones that you're like, this is what I want.

00:54:39
Speaker 5: And then be willing to.

00:54:42
Speaker 1: negotiate with yourself, okay, I can deal with this.

00:54:46
Speaker 5: I can't deal with this, but I can deal with this.

00:54:49
Speaker 1: And then once you identify that, as you start getting back on the dating scene, you meet people, you're gonna understand, okay, man, I like this person.

00:54:57
Speaker 5: I think we can go to the next step, whatever.

00:54:58
Speaker 1: And then you're gonna go back to your list and say, he or she or whatever is doing certain things that I can deal with.

00:55:05
Speaker 5: You understand that.

00:55:06
Speaker 1: Because one thing that you don't want, and this is my opinion, my perspective, You don't want perfection. You don't want to be looking for a perfect mate. Because if you keep looking for a perfect mate, anything's going to trigger you. Any little thing. And then that's something that you're going to realize. Like, man, remember that story? I let that one get away. Because they're going to find happiness in someone else.

00:55:31
Speaker 5: And you're going to be like, man.

00:55:34
Speaker 4: Right.

00:55:34
Speaker 6: Remember when I said I didn't want a man that had kids, married before, or in an entertainment?

00:55:39
Speaker 8: Yeah.

00:55:40
Speaker 1: That part.

00:55:41
Speaker 6: So that's what I kind of led to the side. And I said, all right, God, I see you. Because he was everything I needed.

00:55:47
Speaker 1: He was everything else.

00:55:48
Speaker 4: Do you hear me?

00:55:51
Speaker 8: And some.

00:55:52
Speaker 4: Okay.

00:55:54
Speaker 5: Come on with it. Anybody else?

00:55:56
Speaker 1: Yes, yes.

00:55:58
Speaker 3: Yeah, so shout out to you all. Congratulations.

00:56:01
Speaker 5: Thank you.

00:56:02
Speaker 1: Thank you.

00:56:02
Speaker 4: Thank you so much.

00:56:08
Speaker 13: And before I say my question, I just have to tell you all how much I love them.

00:56:12
Speaker 3: Like, seriously, like, they're like family.

00:56:19
Speaker 13: Just the way you all pour out so much of yourselves to others, especially my daughter, like, I'm just so grateful.

00:56:27
Speaker 4: I dropped her off.

00:56:28
Speaker 3: My husband and I dropped her off at college today.

00:56:30
Speaker 1: Congratulations.

00:56:34
Speaker 4: Congratulations.

00:56:36
Speaker 13: He takes A & M, and so we came in here late because of me.

00:56:41
Speaker 4: That's all right. But you're here.

00:56:44
Speaker 13: And I'm so grateful to be a part of this, and I wouldn't miss it for the world. I told them, both Mary and Keefer, even being exhausted, I was going to show up for you all because that's how you show up for everybody else.

00:56:57
Speaker 4: Thank you so much.

00:56:59
Speaker 1: Thank you.

00:57:00
Speaker 13: It would be, Roxy, I know you said you've traveled a lot before, and I know both of.

00:57:06
Speaker 4: You all are like super busy, like.

00:57:08
Speaker 13: Meeting after meeting and, you know, trying to balance professional lives with personal lives.

00:57:15
Speaker 3: I just wanted to know, like, what have you.

00:57:17
Speaker 13: All learned over the 18 years that you can share with everyone else that helps keep you all together, even with being so busy?

00:57:27
Speaker 1: It's a great question want to go first we set.

00:57:30
Speaker 6: Date nights come on those are like how you set your meetings i'm booked that's our date nights we're booked there's nothing we gonna do can't nobody come between this this is what we're doing it's it's all inked in not penciled in That this is what we're doing.

00:57:47
Speaker 5: In red ink. Like, for real.

00:57:50
Speaker 14: Right.

00:57:51
Speaker 1: I like.

00:57:52
Speaker 5: Some people can look at this and take it personal. Like, man, you got to.

00:57:56
Speaker 1: Pencil me in or ink me in into your schedule? Yes. Because this time that we finna have ain't no phones, ain't no distractions, ain't no what.

00:58:07
Speaker 5: This is us time.

00:58:08
Speaker 12: Right.

00:58:08
Speaker 1: And it can be more than once a week. It can be every other day. It can be every day.

00:58:12
Speaker 8: Yeah.

00:58:13
Speaker 1: You know, and one thing that I realized that I love now is if I'm traveling, she can come with me. Who says that she got to stay back all the time? And I'm like, so I always ask her, baby, let's go. And she had to tell me, I'm good on this.

00:58:34
Speaker 5: One, baby.

00:58:34
Speaker 1: Right. I'm finna sit back, and I'm gonna relax, and I'm gonna catch up on my dog on Netflix and whatever.

00:58:40
Speaker 4: Right, I do, I do.

00:58:41
Speaker 1: You only gonna be gone two days, so I'm good.

00:58:44
Speaker 4: And y'all, let's be real. We okay with this by ourselves. Like, it's gone. Go do what you gotta do. Just have that little quiet time at the house by yourself.

00:58:53
Speaker 1: When she have her little girls trips with her little friends, what I be doing?

00:58:57
Speaker 6: First of all, one time I left, we were gone like four or five days, and I was.

00:59:01
Speaker 4: Like, baby. I mean, I was gone for so long. He was like, you was gone that long?

00:59:07
Speaker 2: I said, so you.

00:59:08
Speaker 4: Didn't miss me?

00:59:10
Speaker 1: Me?

00:59:11
Speaker 4: He was like, no, no, no, no, no. I did, I did, I did.

00:59:14
Speaker 6: I'm like, babe, that's not how you answer that question.

00:59:17
Speaker 1: I was chilling, boy.

00:59:20
Speaker 4: I got work done.

00:59:23
Speaker 1: Man.

00:59:24
Speaker 4: The air could be on what he wanted because I have it cold because I get hot at night.

00:59:28
Speaker 1: Ooh.

00:59:30
Speaker 4: I get hot at night. Do you hear me? We turn this earth down. And he be over there with the covers over his head and his little bald head. I'm like, it's all right. I'll cover you up because I'm hot.

00:59:42
Speaker 5: Very to an Eskimo, man.

00:59:44
Speaker 4: Anybody else?

00:59:59
Speaker 5: Go for it.

01:00:02
Speaker 2: Y'all have three children?

01:00:05
Speaker 1: Yes.

01:00:06
Speaker 5: One together.

01:00:08
Speaker 2: So we have a two-year-old.

01:00:11
Speaker 3: It's our first baby.

01:00:13
Speaker 5: Congratulations.

01:00:14
Speaker 2: Thank you. And that is a transition.

01:00:18
Speaker 3: It is.

01:00:19
Speaker 5: It sure is.

01:00:20
Speaker 1: It is.

01:00:20
Speaker 13: So we are trying to, and we feel like we're doing okay. But whatever advice you all have on how we're trying to transition to.

01:00:32
Speaker 3: Parenting and keeping.

01:00:34
Speaker 2: Our marriage at the forefront, right?

01:00:37
Speaker 3: Because I'm in Dallas.

01:00:38
Speaker 2: I have no family here.

01:00:40
Speaker 3: We really only have his mother.

01:00:42
Speaker 13: My mother has been gone 21 years this year.

01:00:46
Speaker 4: Sorry to hear that. Thank you.

01:00:48
Speaker 13: So we're trying to figure out how to, and I'm trying to figure out how to just be I'm staying home now so it's just.

01:01:00
Speaker 1: Hard yeah no I understand we get you great question great question no.

01:01:05
Speaker 6: That makes perfect sense it's almost like you want to get yourself back you want to go back to let me have me back and you're always around you.

01:01:17
Speaker 4: Feel like you're talking to kids all the time and.

01:01:19
Speaker 6: You want some more adult time So what I would suggest you do is get you a.

01:01:24
Speaker 4: Calendar and pencil in.

01:01:26
Speaker 6: If he's okay with allowing you have a moment where you can take care of yourself. It sounds like it does. Just continue to find who you are. And then whenever y'all need, will his mom, will she watch the baby? I'm pretty sure now because y'all don't have the baby here with y'all.

01:01:45
Speaker 4: She was?

01:01:46
Speaker 5: Okay.

01:01:48
Speaker 10: Yeah yeah that's it well it's like keep working together and I definitely think you know also just praying about it I mean because he's.

01:02:00
Speaker 6: Gonna always bring you through it and he all of a sudden you're gonna look up like babe we made it I don't even know how we made it because I tell him to this day I don't know how we got two college graduates.

01:02:11
Speaker 4: No kids or nothing so I had no idea And we got one from HBCU and one from Ivy League. So when I tell you two.

01:02:21
Speaker 6: Separate things and when I tell you, you really feel like it's never going to end. I'm going to be so tired, but it will pass. But I definitely think you should do some self-care. Make sure you always do that and make sure you pencil in.

01:02:36
Speaker 4: Some time for each other. Yes, because you will get back to yourself.

01:02:40
Speaker 6: And I know some, me personally, when I had mine and my son hit the age two, three, now I'm looking at my body.

01:02:48
Speaker 4: I'm trying to get these kids. I'm not fitting in my clothes. I didn't lose the baby weight. I'm still trying. And he's 17. But we'll talk about that another day.

01:02:57
Speaker 6: But I'm just saying you want to get back to feeling good.

01:03:01
Speaker 4: And I'm not even going to lie. It's just to just walk out. This is what my husband told me. He's like, he's always told me how beautiful I was and I never could hear him.

01:03:10
Speaker 5: Come on.

01:03:12
Speaker 4: I couldn't hear him. Because we're like, you're supposed to say that. No, he's saying that for a reason. Don't tell him he's supposed to be saying that. He's letting you know that he thinks you are beautiful no matter what you look like.

01:03:27
Speaker 6: He thinks you're beautiful now. When you wake up in the morning, sweetheart, he thinks you're beautiful. That's why he's sitting next to you. So remember that. Okay, don't dismiss him telling you you're beautiful because he means it.

01:03:39
Speaker 4: And I had to learn that.

01:03:41
Speaker 5: Let me tell you something.

01:03:42
Speaker 1: Because I see my man over here like, come on. Let me tell you something, man, because as a man, we have egos. And when we compliment our mate and our mate throw it back at our face like that compliment didn't mean nothing. That's when our ego kind of gets shattered a little bit. Then those compliments start getting a little bit more vaguer. Because the last time, let's go back to that keeping track and game plan, right?

01:04:12
Speaker 5: Because last time.

01:04:12
Speaker 1: I gave you a compliment, you shot it back at me. So don't ask me. You don't ever say nothing to me no more. You don't ever say, how come you don't be telling me these little, because the last four or five times I did, you just threw it back in my face. That's what you don't want to happen. Don't believe in terrible twos.

01:04:32
Speaker 5: Good.

01:04:34
Speaker 4: Good.

01:04:35
Speaker 1: Don't believe in... There's a lot of myths out there. It's what you make it. Baby's supposed to cry. Baby's supposed to wake up in the middle of the night. Baby's supposed to spit up on you. They babies. Embrace all that. But team up on it too.

01:04:52
Speaker 4: Yeah, they're curious.

01:04:53
Speaker 1: Team up. If I can see her getting a little frustrated, getting a little bit like, okay, I got it, babe.

01:04:58
Speaker 4: He would, no, he really would.

01:04:59
Speaker 6: He would allow me to go into the bedroom and he shuts the door and he tell the kids, nobody can bother me.

01:05:04
Speaker 4: Girl, and I had that lifetime on.

01:05:06
Speaker 6: Do you hear me with my little, with my water or my Coke and my popcorn? Oh, and he would let me have the entire day and no kid could come.

01:05:17
Speaker 4: They be trying, my son, and even Harmony. Harmony was the worst. can I, I just got one question.

01:05:26
Speaker 6: And I don't even say no because he was like, stop answering them.

01:05:29
Speaker 4: You want your time. Let me give you your time. So I, I always thought that was sweet, babe.

01:05:33
Speaker 1: So thank you.

01:05:33
Speaker 5: I appreciate that.

01:05:34
Speaker 4: I have a question.

01:05:36
Speaker 1: Yes.

01:05:36
Speaker 8: Uh oh.

01:05:37
Speaker 5: I know, right?

01:05:37
Speaker 4: Come on with it.

01:05:39
Speaker 1: First off, the piggyback I'll do.

01:05:48
Speaker 2: These are my cousins. And this two-year-old, he can read a book from the front to the back.

01:05:53
Speaker 4: Cool. I love it.

01:05:55
Speaker 1: Come on.

01:05:55
Speaker 3: No, they're doing an awesome job.

01:05:57
Speaker 4: Love it. Come on. Love it. Yes. Congratulations.

01:06:01
Speaker 7: So I want to know what y'all have for me and my husband.

01:06:05
Speaker 2: We've been together for 27 years married.

01:06:07
Speaker 1: Congratulations. Let's go.

01:06:08
Speaker 4: Let's go.

01:06:09
Speaker 5: And I want to know.

01:06:10
Speaker 12: For me as a wife, working for the last 23 plus years.

01:06:24
Speaker 7: Not working anymore. It's solely dependent on my husband. Which is really hard. Because I'm so used to being in control of certain things.

01:06:40
Speaker 4: So here I am, like.

01:06:41
Speaker 2: What am I supposed to do? What am I doing? We have adult children.

01:06:46
Speaker 7: I have roles at home that I need to manage. We're starting this new entrepreneurship, which I'm not, you know, I'm used to working.

01:06:56
Speaker 2: So what advice can y'all give to us?

01:06:59
Speaker 1: I'll let you go first.

01:07:00
Speaker 4: I've been going first this whole time.

01:07:02
Speaker 5: Okay, I'll take it.

01:07:03
Speaker 6: That's his way of saying, let me get my thoughts together, let you go first.

01:07:07
Speaker 5: Because I know what I'm about to say. She used to get mad at me.

01:07:10
Speaker 9: What?

01:07:11
Speaker 1: Because I'm always straight solution mode. Look how God is blessing you. You ain't got no nine to five. You ain't got to go work for nobody. And you can punch your own clock, start your own business, and you got a brother that will let you Express yourself and do exactly whatever it is that you want to do. So out of 23 years of working for somebody else, I know there's something upside in your head that's like, man, I always wanted to do this for myself. Do it.

01:07:53
Speaker 5: No excuses.

01:07:53
Speaker 1: Get it done. Just do it. And if there's anybody out there that don't know what to do, just be silent.

01:08:03
Speaker 5: Put your phone aside.

01:08:05
Speaker 1: A whole day. Just be silent.

01:08:07
Speaker 5: Just sit in a room.

01:08:08
Speaker 1: Just sit there and be... Pray and just be quiet. I promise you, your mind gonna start racing.

01:08:13
Speaker 2: Okay.

01:08:14
Speaker 1: And something gonna pop. Like, man, I always wanted to do that. Man, I was thinking, I can do this. And then just do it. Because... Listen. I've been in radio and media for 25 years. And I love what I do.

01:08:28
Speaker 5: This ain't work.

01:08:29
Speaker 1: Right.

01:08:29
Speaker 5: So this ain't... This ain't no traditional 9.

01:08:32
Speaker 1: To 5 type stuff.

01:08:34
Speaker 16: But.

01:08:36
Speaker 1: There's times when I wake up and I'm like, man, do I want to do this? Do I want to keep doing this? Because I have so many ideas. And I tell her all the time, let's just go. Just jump and the net will appear.

01:08:53
Speaker 4: That's scary for me.

01:08:55
Speaker 1: Just jump because I know you got some ideas.

01:08:58
Speaker 16: Yes.

01:08:59
Speaker 8: You.

01:09:00
Speaker 1: And I know if you married to this guy, you got a whole bunch of ideas because he got a bunch of ideas. And I'm glad. I love how y'all are working together now. So that's my short, long answer. Man, just do it.

01:09:13
Speaker 5: Just go.

01:09:13
Speaker 6: I definitely think you should do it. And I don't mean to put my friend back here.

01:09:19
Speaker 6: My sister girl, sister Shonda back there, I don't want to put her on blast, but she has published a book and she didn't, she was trying to put it on pause and she didn't know if she could do it.

01:09:32
Speaker 4: She doubted herself. She doubted. Now, now she has a book out. She can call herself an author.

01:09:39
Speaker 1: Come on.

01:09:40
Speaker 4: Do you hear me?

01:09:41
Speaker 1: And guess what? We're going to challenge everybody to buy a copy of that. Yes. We're going to find out how we can buy a copy of your book and we want everybody in here.

01:09:50
Speaker 4: It's on Amazon. It is. I'll make sure. I don't want to get the title wrong. What was the title again?

01:10:00
Speaker 3: How to Pray. and develop a relationship with God.

01:10:04
Speaker 4: Listen, when I tell you, listen.

01:10:08
Speaker 6: And the reason why I'm using her as an example, because she was doing some of the same.

01:10:13
Speaker 4: Things, and she's getting ready to go do a book.

01:10:15
Speaker 1: Signing in St.

01:10:16
Speaker 5: Louis. Let's go.

01:10:18
Speaker 4: And it's going to be fabulous.

01:10:19
Speaker 6: And it's like right when you think you can't do something, and then you're going to start seeing stuff overflow over and.

01:10:26
Speaker 4: Over and over.

01:10:27
Speaker 1: And nothing.

01:10:29
Speaker 4: paused her as she once she started she just.

01:10:32
Speaker 6: Kept going kept going and I know her nerves is bad sometimes but that's just how we are but you know we prayed her through it and she got where she needed to be so I again I'm proud of you I'm ready to be proud of you.

01:10:47
Speaker 1: Let's go.

01:10:50
Speaker 4: I'm ready to be proud of you so oh go ahead hi everyone hi.

01:10:58
Speaker 16: I'm going to piggyback off of my mom here because she made y'all fail to realize that since she has become a stay-at-home wife slash mother, she has put.

01:11:08
Speaker 3: Up her Poshmark and she's there to figure out her 12-year-old. Okay.

01:11:14
Speaker 4: And pieces.

01:11:15
Speaker 9: So don't make it seem like you're not doing anything, Mom, because you are.

01:11:19
Speaker 4: Yeah. And she's traveling and stuff.

01:11:23
Speaker 3: So she's starting to, like, live her life now.

01:11:25
Speaker 1: Yeah.

01:11:26
Speaker 9: We want her to, you know, realize that she can do that because she has done her job as a mother.

01:11:30
Speaker 4: Y'all, look at you.

01:11:32
Speaker 1: Standing ovation right there.

01:11:34
Speaker 4: Come on.

01:11:35
Speaker 1: Clock it, clock it.

01:11:36
Speaker 4: That was sweet.

01:11:37
Speaker 16: She was old and she was working for AT & T since I've been born.

01:11:41
Speaker 8: Wow.

01:11:42
Speaker 3: It's like she clocked me into AT & T.

01:11:44
Speaker 4: And now we get to see.

01:11:46
Speaker 16: Like a whole different version of our mom you know like you know how moms be saying she's not your little friend that's your little friend right she's living her life now and she deserves to live her life she don't have to feel like she.

01:12:01
Speaker 3: Gotta make money she has a husband she got.

01:12:03
Speaker 16: Kids we support her and we happy for her and she used to know that I love.

01:12:08
Speaker 6: It oh my gosh I love it I love that let me tell you something.

01:12:13
Speaker 1: Let me piggyback on that You have earned this freedom. And don't feel like you even got to do nothing.

01:12:20
Speaker 8: Right.

01:12:21
Speaker 1: Like, come on, man, and enjoy that. And when those moments come that you say, you know what, I'm ready to try something new, then move on. But other than that, don't feel like you got to be pressured to do it.

01:12:32
Speaker 4: Man, first of all, I just want to say thank y'all. I think we're getting ready to wrap this up.

01:12:38
Speaker 1: Yes, indeed.

01:12:38
Speaker 6: But I just want to say thank each and every one of y'all for taking the time to come out. to listen to us talk about ourselves and our craziness and for y'all to just ask us questions.

01:12:49
Speaker 4: I really appreciate y'all.

01:12:51
Speaker 5: Absolutely.

01:12:53
Speaker 1: And if you guys haven't done it yet, if you're on social media, Perfect Pair Podcast, man. Instagram, everything, the Perfect Pair Podcast. Follow us. We're about to get ready to relaunch the podcast. These live events that we're going to be.

01:13:06
Speaker 5: Doing, we're going to be doing this one like once a month here.

01:13:09
Speaker 1: But there's going to be some other things. Dancing date night. So stay tuned and follow us.

01:13:12
Speaker 5: Thank you so much.

01:13:13
Speaker 1: God bless you, man.

01:13:14
Speaker 5: We appreciate you.

01:13:14
Speaker 1: Sorry. Appreciate you, my man. Thank you. We got one more thing that we ask before everybody leaves later on this evening or however long you stay, is we want to get testimonies from each and every one of you guys on what you thought about tonight. Other than that, man, thank you so much.

01:13:30
Speaker 8: You know, before you guys leave, I want to kind of break some things down on this amazing couple right here.

01:13:36
Speaker 2: You know, nothing happens by accident. For those of you who don't know who.

01:13:41
Speaker 8: I am, my name is Tory Abram. co-owner of Business Bay. And Rock and I, we met each other a while back. And, you know, the chemistry was just amazing from the jump because God was involved.

01:13:55
Speaker 1: I didn't even know it at the time, right?

01:13:57
Speaker 8: But when we had a conversation, it resonated in me that, hey, this guy is going to do some amazing things in his world. And I didn't realize that, hey, I need to be a part of that and God has put me in position to be a part of that as well. We both live a life of helping others and giving back to the community.

01:14:16
Speaker 5: So my wife and I finally had.

01:14:19
Speaker 8: An opportunity to sit down with him and his wife just not too long ago after months and months of Rock and I working with each other. And all I could feel was an aura around the conversation because I knew it was ordained. It was destined for us to do what we did today. Everyone in this audience, you guys are a part of history and don't even know it. This is simply the beginning of something that's going to be so extraordinary.

01:14:43
Speaker 1: Something so different from what you've.

01:14:46
Speaker 8: Been accustomed to seeing that the world would change simply one person at a time because of this amazing couple that's.

01:14:53
Speaker 5: Sitting here in front of you.

01:14:54
Speaker 1: Thank you.

01:14:55
Speaker 8: So thank you guys so much for coming out tonight. My wife and I, I don't know where she went. I don't know, you know, we're getting up in age. She may have to go to the bathroom.

01:15:03
Speaker 4: No, don't you, you're not going to put her.

01:15:06
Speaker 8: She's retired now. She just do what she want to do when she want to do it. I don't know what's going on in here, right? But, you know, we're so excited to be able to partner with Ms.

01:15:18
Speaker 1: Pearl, who's the owner of this facility. Every second Friday.

01:15:22
Speaker 5: We will have.

01:15:23
Speaker 1: This amazing couple here on the stage.

01:15:26
Speaker 8: Our objective for you guys is to tell your other couple friends. We want this place next month to be so filled up that people cannot get a ticket to even get in here.

01:15:38
Speaker 5: We didn't want to do that this time.

01:15:39
Speaker 1: We wanted this intimate setting. Mr. Rock and Ms.

01:15:43
Speaker 8: Crystal could have that one-on-one time with each and every last individual in here. In the future, that's not going to be possible because there's going to be so many people in here wanting to hear what these two have to say. And you guys got it firsthand today. I also want to add that every fourth Friday of each month, we have the R & B Lounge and Grown Folk Comedy Show. Completely off the chain. Totally different settings. Everyone in here is going to be drunk.

01:16:10
Speaker 1: I'm kidding.

01:16:10
Speaker 2: Not really.

01:16:11
Speaker 1: Not really.

01:16:12
Speaker 8: Crystal, you can't come because you guys don't drink anymore.

01:16:19
Speaker 4: So forget about it.

01:16:21
Speaker 1: We're changing the game one person at a time.

01:16:23
Speaker 8: And I truly believe with this couple right here doing what they did tonight will truly change things in so many households. I'm sure the couples that are here today or tonight. Got something from this. They're going to take it back home and they're going to talk about it. I'm going to talk about it with my wife. She's my best friend, right? We completely understand where you guys are coming from. And I'm truly looking forward to seeing each and every last one of you here next month. I have to give a quick shout out. To my buddy, she's always there when I call her. She's always there to volunteer and help whenever we need her. She's all the way in the back. She's always that back of the bus person.

01:16:59
Speaker 2: But Ms.

01:16:59
Speaker 8: Nakia, thank you so much for driving all the way from McKinney area to come out and see this tonight. My sister over there with her fiance, Ms. India, who has an amazing book.

01:17:13
Speaker 1: Firm, CPA firm. She's a book author. You name it, she's done it.

01:17:19
Speaker 8: Miss India Roberts over there.

01:17:23
Speaker 4: Mr.

01:17:23
Speaker 8: Kendra Jones, who is a higher up executive of a cyber security company. I don't want to reveal it because he probably is in this guy's business and you don't know it. But thank you guys so much for coming as well. And every last person that was under their voice today. We truly appreciate it. My wife and I, we're trying to change the game and do something different with Business Bay, and we greatly appreciate you.

01:17:46
Speaker 1: I'm going to turn it back over to you guys for some last comments. In the words of Russell Simmons, thank you, God bless, and good night.

01:17:57
Speaker 5: That's my brother, by the way.

01:18:02
Speaker 1: So again, my man, shout out to the videographer A.C.

01:18:04
Speaker 4: In the house, man.

01:18:07
Speaker 1: We're going to make all of y'all.

01:18:11
Speaker 4: Look very good.

01:18:12
Speaker 1: Y'all see the editing, the final editing of this recap? So just so you can spend a little time getting the testimonies, we'll really appreciate that.

01:18:19
Speaker 2: God bless you guys. Thank you so much, man.